Intro
A couple of weeks ago, I briefly mentioned that I had seen a lot of posts on social media that shame people who re-home their pets. I have been thinking about this topic quite a lot since because it really bothers me. In this post, I will present an argument that the thinking behind these shaming posts is flawed and present alternative messages that could be shared in order to promote responsible pet ownership.
*NOTE: I had a different topic planned for today, but I felt like this needed to be addressed. It's a bit of a rant, but I think it's an educational rant.
"You wouldn't think of re-homing your children, so why would you think about re-homing your dog? Dogs are family too."
This is a common argument, and I do understand the thought behind it. In fact, there are many things that dogs do that could be compared to children in order to show that we often expect too much from our dogs. For example, if a dog bites someone once, many owners are quick to give up on them. Meanwhile, if your child punched another kid, you would probably have a few questions before jumping to placing all of the blame on your child. "What happened leading up to the punch? Was it in self-defence? Has this kid been picking on you?" From there, you would likely work on addressing the underlying issue that led to the punch. With dogs, they usually take all the blame, even if they were put in a situation where they felt like biting was the only option.
That being said, this argument is still invalid. There are many instances where children are raised in homes that are not the ones they were born into. This is why we have foster care and adoption (the human kind, I mean). Some children are raised by their grandparents because their actual parents are unprepared to raise a child. If a child was in a situation where their needs were not being met and could not be met, nobody would ever argue that the child should stay there. With that logic, why do people argue that dogs should stay in homes where their needs are not being met? If a dog is in a home full of tension because the humans are always frustrated with the dog and vice versa, nobody is happy, so how is staying there what is best for the dog?
Forget about the owner for a minute here, and think about the well-being of the animal. Shaming people into keeping pets in their homes no matter what will result in pets staying in homes that are not a good fit for them. If somebody feels overwhelmed with their dog and is unable to provide that dog with the exercise/training/attention that they need, they may keep that dog out of worry of being judged when that dog could instead find a home that would be a better fit for them.
Instead of posting about how horrible people who re-home pets are, let's start posting about ways to re-home dogs safely. These posts could say things like:
If you are unable to keep your pet, please be patient with shelter staff if they say they have a waitlist for surrenders. Be prepared to continue caring for your pet until there is a space available for them.
If choosing to do a private re-homing, make sure that your dog is spayed or neutered first. This will deter puppy mills from taking them for breeding. Make sure to do your due diligence and ask lots of questions since dog fighting rings will sometimes take dogs to use as bait. Whenever possible, re-home with a person you know or with someone who has been vouched for by a mutual friend.
Rescues can make great alternatives to shelters. Dogs will usually be in a foster home instead of a facility until adopted, which can be less stressful. Rescues also tend to be more choosy about adopters to ensure that your dog finds the right home. However, keep in mind that rescues are usually operated entirely by volunteers, so be prepared to wait a couple of days to get a response.
"What were you thinking getting a dog in the first place? If you had to get one, why did you get such a high energy breed?"
Listen, I get it, we've all seen people bring a pet home that we worry is not right for their lifestyle. However, whether you predicted that a pet would be too much for someone or not, telling them so is in no way productive. By the time that someone is thinking about re-homing the high-drive working dog that they brought into their busy family with three young kids, they are already aware that they bit off more than they can chew. They probably feel terrible about it. There is no need to kick them while they are down. Keep your thoughts to yourself or vent to someone outside of the situation if you need to get your feelings off your chest.
The person who is looking into re-homing at this point has already learned the lesson to do more research before getting a pet if they ever choose to go down that road again, so try to focus on education targeted towards people who have not yet taken the leap into pet ownership. Posts addressing things to think about before getting a pet may prevent someone else from ending up in this situation in the future. You could share tips like:
Thinking about bringing a furry friend into your life? They require a lot of work. Do your research about what an animal needs well before choosing to bring them home.
Have you decided which breed of puppy you want? The breeder you buy from makes a big difference. A good breeder will invite you to see where the puppies live, to meet the parents, and will welcome questions. Ask about what health testing they do and what kind of enrichment they have done with the puppies. You should always have to sign a contract, and a breeder who will not take one of their dogs back is a red flag.
Rescuing a pet can be so rewarding, but not all rescues are the same. If a rescue will adopt out animals within days of surrender, that means that they are not taking the time to fully assess their behaviour. You may end up with some behaviour issues that you were not prepared for because the rescue did not have them long enough to see it. Look for a rescue that believes in positive reinforcement training and only works with force-free trainers. Finally, a good rescue will offer adopters plenty of support throughout the whole process.
"This dog was given up on/abandoned by their family."
Language like this is something that I see rescues share a lot about the dogs in their care. The story is usually something along the lines of how the dog had a behaviour or medical issue that lead to the family deciding to surrender them. One particular post was about how a dog ended up with a medical condition that required him to need to go outside for potty breaks more frequently. The post was not kind to the family who surrendered him. I can bring my dogs to work with me, so I could probably make that work, but let's take a look at how that would work for the average person.
Most people work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Let's add on an extra hour each day for commute time, but it would be more if you did not live close to work. So, that's nine hours a day. If a dog needs to go outside to pee every two hours, that is 4 potty breaks during the day while you are at work. Even if you have budgeted to have a dog walker come once a day, there are now three extra visits that you would need to pay for as well. Most dog walkers also work in different neighbourhoods at different times, so you would probably need to hire at least a couple of different people in order to make that work. Quality dog walking can be expensive but, even if we look at the most affordable options, you would be spending at least $20/visit. That's $80/day, $60 more than what you initially budgeted for. Each week, that is $300 more than you were initially expecting to pay. That is not including any of the cost of vet care to actually address the health issue. Not everybody can afford to suddenly have their monthly expenses increase by $1200+. Most people can't.
Let's think back to the original family who had to surrender their dog. They were probably devastated when they realized that they were unable to provide their dog with the care that he needed. They made the decision to ask for help, which can be hard, and moved forward with an option that probably seemed like the only option for their dog to receive the care he needed. Once the dog is no longer with them, they would be trying to cope with the difficulty of surrendering their pet. Did they ever see the post that publicly shamed them for making such a hard decision? I know that if I had to surrender my dog, I would be following the rescue religiously to see if there were any updates about them. I would see that post.
Hopefully I have made my point about that particular family, but let's think about another scenario. Some hypothetical person has decided they can no longer keep their dog. Maybe they have a good reason, maybe they don't, but it really doesn't matter. Now this hypothetical person is scrolling through Facebook and sees a shame post from a rescue. Do you think they would see that and want to go face those posting such hateful things about the people they are supposed to be helping? Probably not. This hypothetical person now takes their dog to a shelter in the middle of the night and leaves them in a crate outside the door. If the dog does not freeze to death overnight waiting for shelter staff to arrive in the morning (which happens), the shelter staff now have no medical history, no behaviour history, no information whatsoever about this dog to pass on to new adopters. They are also unable to get a signed surrender form, which means that they have to hold the dog for a certain amount of time (it varies depending on where you are) before they can begin to prepare the dog for adoption, meaning the dog will be in the shelter for longer. The dog is the one facing the most backlash here as a result of the shame post their former owner saw.
So, what could we post instead? Posts about why dogs came into rescue care could contain compassion in order to make surrendering seem more approachable to those who need help. They could say things like:
Unfortunately, Fido has some health concerns that were more than his original family could not handle. They are demanding, so not every home will work for him. His ideal placement would be with someone who works from home, is retired, or has the resources to hire someone to stop in multiple times a day so that he can frequent care.
Fluffy has developed some behaviour issues that were unable to be managed in her busy home with small children running around. Her family made the tough decision to surrender her so that she could find a more quiet home where she can feel safe in between sessions with the trainer we have already got her started on working with.
Since a lot of surrenders happen because of behaviour issues, we could also swap shame posts for posts that share how to prevent common issues. Some suggestions:
Puppy classes are a fantastic way to learn how to properly socialize your puppy. The first 12 weeks of your puppy's life are so important for them to be safely exposed to different things in order to prevent them from being fearful later in life.
Did you know that putting your hand in your dog's bowl to prevent resource guarding is a myth? It can actually cause resource guarding since your dog now feels like their food is in danger of being taken away. You would be annoyed if someone kept touching your food too. Instead, you can show your dog they don't need to worry about you approaching their food bowl by tossing a few higher value treats into the bowl while they are eating and then backing off. If you are noticing signs of resource guarding, reach out to a professional for help before it escalates.
Conclusion
Can we please just be nice to each other?
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